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One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop, and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man. "We don’t have any money for food," the poor man replied "We’ve been unable to eat for five days and my family is starving". "Oh, well, you can come with me to my house," instructed the lawyer. "But, sir, I have a wife and two children with me!" "Bring them along!" replied the lawyer.  "He turned to the other man and said: "You come with us, too." "But I have a wife and six children," the second man answered. "Bring them as well" replied the lawyer. They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows said: "Sir, you are much too
kind.  Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied: "Glad to do it, my friend. You’ll love my place;
the grass is almost a foot tall."

Dear Hokkien-speaking friends,

     Dr. Quek made a routine house call to Mr. Lim, one of his elderly patients. He asks, "And how are you doing today, Mr. Lim?" Mr. Lim replies, "I feel just fine, doc. But you know, it’s the strangest thing. Every night when I get up to pang jio, the bathroom light goes on for me
automatically when I open the door!"

     The doctor is worried that the old man is getting senile, so he phones the man’s son, and the son’s wife answers.

     The doctor tells her, "Mrs. Lim, I’m a little concerned about your father-in-law. It seems that when he gets up to urinate at night and opens the bathroom door, the light somehow goes on…" At which point, Mrs. Lim yells,  "Aiyoh, Ah Seng! Ah Pa pang jio in the fridge again!"